Liz Truss and her team take us for a ride | Stewart Lee

My newly opened stand-up show, Basic Lee, is due to hold until its final dates in the spring of 2024, so is it even worth writing material about the Liz Truss government? Having passed the safe space of Tory leadership roundups, it looks like Truss will dissolve on contact with air, burning in a searing flame of Brexit reality. Trying to write enduring stand-up material about the Government Truss makes about as much sense as trying to befriend a mayfly or marry a throwaway barbecue.

Consider this for a cabinet. We have Jacob Rees-Mogg, an energy minister who believes that humanity “should adapt to climate change”. Perhaps by learning to drink from the fire. And eat desperation. Tree-Frog is currently trying to loosen the definition of what exactly constitutes an earthquake, to allow for a fatal new exploitation of fossil fuels in the form of hydraulic fracturing. Fair play. The dehydration of the clay soils where I live, caused by climate change exacerbated by fossil fuels, means that all my British Comedy Awards fall from the ziggurat every time a slightly overweight man in a Sinclair C5 drives past the house. But Tree-Frog says something is only officially an earthquake if the mole-man of The Fantastic Four ™ ® issue 1 (1961) emerged from a great crack in the street with its mole-human hybrids the Moloids seeking to subjugate the surface world.

Kwasi Kwarteng is the new Chancellor of the Exchequer and his first response to the cost of living crisis was to lift the EU cap on bankers’ bonuses. Across the City of London, cocaine dealers and pimps of high-class sex workers breathed a collective sigh of relief. They won’t go hungry this Christmas! God bless you, Mr. Kwarteng, sir! Anything we can do for you, anything. Charlie M. Kwarteng Sir? Golden showers? Pegging? Pegging, Mr. Kwarteng? Perhaps that’s what Kwarteng was laughing at at the Queen’s funeral, much to the disgust of her neighbour, Home Secretary Suella Braverman, whose disgust threshold is high, especially when it comes to her own policy. Either that or Kwarteng had pulled out his phone and was watching a particularly funny Ricky Gervais routine about a man identifying as blah blah blah blah blah.

Nadhim Zahawi is the new Minister for Equality and once tasked the taxpayer with heating the stables for his horses. Zahawi’s horses are more equal than your frozen grandmother. But why wouldn’t Zahawi’s horses be warm? Nothing speaks of inequality more than a chilly horse. Zahawi’s horses are warm. But when will all the horses be warm? What do we want? Warm horses. When do we want them? Now. It’s bad news that Gran froze to death, yes, and it’s too bad she wasn’t one of Zahawi’s horses. Certainly, she should have allowed him to ride her. But no doubt our grandparents did worse. How do you think they got all those nylons during the war?

There is a new environment secretary called Ranil Malcolm Jayawardena, a previously unknown politician who has been given a doomed and impossible job and is the political equivalent of the extra small party sent to the planet with Kirk , Spock and Bones in star trek, which we know will soon be devoured by a sentient rock. Jayawardena has already promised to stop water companies from dumping millions of gallons of human excrement into the sea, which will be difficult for him as his own government voted to allow it; and what the water companies are doing because they can no longer get the purification chemicals from Europe, because 52% of the country voted to leave the single market, the same 52% of the country who voted to get rid of European pollution regulations. And we must respect the Brexit referendum. So good luck with that, Ranil Malcolm Jayawardena. You’re the patsy and one day you’ll charge £2 for a signed photo at Tory fan conventions! Have you ever felt like you’ve been cheated on?

Although she built her campaign on the easily rebuttable idea that Brexit was a good idea, Truss immediately thrust herself into the stiffened windshield of her impossible reality, like a fly in a little hat. Truss just isn’t as good at lying as Boris Johnson, a sexy man who tucks in his shirt as he emerges from a soiled petrol station toilet cubicle without even apologizing for the terrible state in which he left it to the next one. occasion the entire population of Great Britain. Of course, there will be no US trade deal, Truss admitted. The pageantry of last week has evaporated and we have to realize that no matter what the conservative press says, the rest of the free world thinks we are assholes.

In 2016, Barack Obama warned us that the UK would be the tail end of post-Brexit US trade deals, a situation now made worse by the contempt in which the Tories hold the Good Friday deal that means so much to Irish Romantics of America. diaspora. Nigel Farage later dismissed Obama’s comments, calling him a ‘disgusting creature’ and Brexiteers used their tiny plastic trumpets to announce the US trade deals we would soon enjoy. But Brexiters were half right. We are not in line. But that’s because we’re not even in the queue at all. We are not even in the queue to get into the room where you queue to join the queue. Which is a shame because, as we saw last weekend in London, queuing is one of the things we Brits do well. And that’s lucky, because Brexit means we’re going to have to get used to a lot of queuing.

Snowflake by Stewart Lee is currently available on the BBC iPlayer, but the scheduled terrestrial repeat is cancelled. The Delayed Tornado will be on BBC Two September 29 at 11:15 p.m., then on the iPlayer. Basic Lee’s tour dates are at stewartlee.co.uk/live-dates

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